candy bar with super powers - edit

Sentence - how would you react if you see a candy bar with powers

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Paragraph 1

Once there was a Candy bar that lived in the new york sewers,but he was not just any ordinary candybar ,but a candy bar that  had super powers.

The candy bar never had a friend. Although the candy bar that lived in the sewers, and for some days the candybar sneaked in 24 cric street alley way .the candy bar wished that he was a human

That was the candy bars only dream

Paragraph 2

One day the candy bar tried to do a disguise to get food , but when he got back to the sewers a little boy followed the candy bar.the boy ask the candy bar “hello sir”. “Ahh” said the candybar.the candy bar ran away from the boy .the boy started crying.the candy bar heard the boy cry ,and felt so sorry for the little boy.so the candy bar went to the boy ,then took him outside the sewers trying to find his mother that the boy was with before he  than

followed the candy bar.the candy bar grabbed the boy's hand then said “hang on”.the boy hanged on to the candy bar’s hand and then the candy bar went up to the sky like a blazing rocket .

Paragraph 3

The candy bar ask the boy if he could see his mom.the boy pointed to rihanna the singer. “Is rihanna your mom”.ask the candy bar. “No not rihanna the one next to her”.oh okay. so the candy bar flew to the mother ,but the mother never sawed him and kept walking to her apartment.the candy bar used its super speed and he was fast like a cheetah.when the candy bar made it to her apartment and knock on her door. “Hello miam I think this is your sun” said the candy bar.the mother then hugged the boy and said thank you sir to the candy bar.

So that is the end of the candy bar story how saves a little  boy . will that be his only friend ?.no this story is just the beginning

LI:to edit narritive work usieng TEE stractures.
this week we had to edit our narritive that we created.we also needed to do was delete some words and if you put more words in it has to be red.